Sun 26 Apr 2020

EVERYBODY NEEDS TO SMOOTH OUT!!!

Posted by Michael under Uncategorized
Comments Off on EVERYBODY NEEDS TO SMOOTH OUT!!!

SMOOTH OUT:

A slang term in vogue among teenagers in Southeastern Wisconsin (particularly those classified/marginalized under the social category/epithet “Burnout” or “Stoner”) during the Mid-1970s to Early-1980s.

Used as a non-authoritarian substitute for CALM DOWN and/or BE QUIET.

“Everybody SMOOTH OUT! The cops are outside!!!”

_______________________________________________________________________

SMOOTH OUT. That’s right

There’s been much talk in the BLAHBLAHSPHERE lately about the fact that telling someone who is angry/excited/freaking out to “calm down” has exactly the opposite effect (especially if it’s being done by someone trying to silence/marginalize/gaslight an abuse survivor, woman, POC, LGBTQ individual, or any other marginalized person or group).

And rightfully so. CALM DOWN has been used as a cudgel by autocrats and fascists for centuries as a way to suppress dissent and silence abuse survivors.

So we need a word that says:

I UNDERSTAND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR DISTRUST OF AUTHORITY FIGURES AND RESPECT YOU AS AN AUTONOMOUS HUMAN BEING AND BELIEVE YOUR EXCITEMENT/GRIEVANCES/CONCERNS ARE GENUINE

BUT WE ALL NEED TO RELAX AND FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM AND/OR ADDRESS THIS EMERGENCY!!!

THEREFORE, whenever I think/feel/perceive an individual/group/entity is panicking, being a Drama Queen, focusing on the wrong problem, or their current input is not being helpful in some crucial way….

I will ask them to PLEASE (“please” is implicit in the expression but it always helps to include it when using this phrase)

Smooth Out.

Tags:

 

Sun 26 Apr 2020

We’re All Part Of The Problem

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints, Important Shit
Comments Off on We’re All Part Of The Problem

“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem…!”

John McClane

“You’ve got a full-time job taking care of yourself!”

John Corcoran

_______________________________________________________________________

It’s not just the Trumpers and low-info dolts who are the cultists.

EVERYBODY in America has been brainwashed in one way or another.

Programmed with bad ideas and bogus thought systems that cloud our sense of reality.

ESPECIALLY the “smart” and/or well-educated people who call themselves Progressives/Liberals/Leftists.

They laugh at all those funny dumb poor people and how their cherished delusions cause them to fall prey to hucksters and grifters and to not see reality.

But their thinking is just as clouded by delusions and insane fantasies- just of a different sort.

Like a rich cocaine addict laughing at a poor crack head.

Yeah, you may APPEAR to have it together because your clothes are nice and your teeth aren’t falling out.

But you’re ingesting the same poison as they are (just in a different & less concentrated form) and your life has spun out of control just as much as theirs.

And you’ll both be dead soon if you don’t stop.

Tags:

 

Sun 26 Apr 2020

Bait And Switch

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints, Media Studies, Uncategorized
Comments Off on Bait And Switch

The Reason Trump Says Crazy Stupid Shit:

Other than the fact he IS a crazy stupid shit, is tactical.

Notice how all the 24/7 channels and TV pundits are “debating” the benefits of Huffing Lysol or a Clorox Enema instead of discussing the fact that

HE’S STEALING PPE AND OTHER LIFE SAVING SUPPLIES FROM AMERICAN CITIZENS TO GIVE TO HIS CRONIES TO SELL AT HUGE PROFIT

AND HOARDING THEM TO USE AS EXTORTION LEVERAGE AGAINST GOVERNORS.

And how all the “OH, so smart and well-educated” progressives/liberals/leftists on Twitter, Facebook, and Instafuckingeverywhere are TOTALLY taking the bait and wasting time spinning their wheels over it and trying to outdo each other with clever jokes.

So PLEASE resist the temptation to waste time making snarky jokes about how dumb he is (you KNOW I’m including myself in this) or debating other moot points and concentrate on the real issues as you interact with people.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

Sat 25 Apr 2020

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BRILLIANT TO READ LONG AND COMPLICATED TEXTS.

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints, Media Studies
Comments Off on YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BRILLIANT TO READ LONG AND COMPLICATED TEXTS.

JUST PATIENT.

Especially Philosophy, Physics, and Media Studies.

You take it one sentence at a time and don’t go on until you understand that sentence. Look up any words you don’t understand*. Sometimes reading it aloud helps. If it takes 50 times before you understand it, then so be it.

Don’t feel bad if it takes a long time to get it, this is hard stuff.

The first time I read A Brief History Of Time by Steven Hawking, I could only muster about five pages at a time- and then I’d have to take a nap for an hour or two.

Understanding Media took a year to finish, because every few paragraphs some concept would blow my mind so much I’d have to put the book down and ponder for a few hours or a couple weeks.

Essentially your brain is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets, and the less you do the more it weakens & atrophies. BUT no matter how weak a muscle gets it can always be strengthened through continued exercise. SO ANY LACK OF FORMAL EDUCATION IS NO EXCUSE.

You don’t HAVE to go to a gym to get buff (although it helps to have all those cool machines in one place, along with a bunch of experts/enthusiasts on fitness and health), you just have to commit to spending time every day exercising your body.

And you don’t HAVE to go to a fancy University to get educated, you just have to commit to spending time every day exercising your mind by reading long complex texts and studying big ideas that hurt to get your brain around.

I think it was Confucius who said “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” It was him or Lao Tzu, between the two of them they said EVERYTHING. Literally.

Sometime I’ll the story about why I know this for a fact.

*which is MUCH easier to do now that you don’t need a 20 pound Unabridged Dictionary. Juuuuust sayin’ 🙂

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

Sat 25 Apr 2020

My Punditry Qualifications

Posted by Michael under Uncategorized
Comments Off on My Punditry Qualifications

Tags: , , , , , ,

 

Fri 24 Apr 2020

THREE LITTLE WORDS

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints
Comments Off on THREE LITTLE WORDS

NO SHIRT NO SHOES NO FACE COVERING— NO SERVICE

JB just officially declared that anyone entering a business where social distancing is not possible must now wear a FACE COVERING.*

Some business owners are flipping out about “how are we going to enforce this?” And some assholes are trying to claim it’s a horrible civil rights violation— but it’s the same concept businesses have been using for years.

They just need to add an extra 3 words to the signs.


*Face Covering doesn’t mean a fancy Doctor mask. You can tie a t-shirt around your face and it will be just as effective.

Of course, SNEECHES will be wearing their fancy designer face coverings and throwing shade on everyone else, but fuck them upside down and sideways. (more on Sneeches in the future)

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 

Fri 24 Apr 2020

Funny But Not Joking

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints
No Comments

Sometimes I’ll say something deadly serious to people as a warning about something awful to come and (especially if it’s at a party) the room will burst out laughing.

It used to really piss me off, but eventually I realized that the statements themselves sound pretty funny, especially if you have a sardonic sense of humor.

The problem is, that since most everybody laughed at the statement, many of the people present (especially those a bit slow on the uptake) will think what I’ve said was just a joke.

SO—- What I’m about to say will probably make you laugh, but it is a Deadly Serious Statement of Historical Fact:

This Wouldn’t Be The First Time A Highly Advanced Civilization Was Destroyed Because Members Of An Insane Death Cult Took Power.

The Deserts And Jungles Of The World Are Filled With Their Ruins.

And Many Times The Final Unraveling Was Due To Poor Public Response To An Epidemic.

Tags: , ,

 

Fri 24 Apr 2020

Realityland Chronicles, Dispatch #3

Posted by Michael under REALITYLAND DISPATCHES
No Comments

MORE ABOUT WHAT I’M TRYING TO DO HERE

And what I ask of you.


The world/internet is full of people who call themselves Citizen Journalists and they do great work. (more about them in the future)


They adhere (more than most “real” journalists) to high standards of accuracy and do their best to act as if they’re being employed by the NYT or Washington Post.


I intend to be a Citizen Pundit and counter all the BULLSHIT spewed forth by the legion of Blathering Turds in the Corporate Media.


My job is much easier than Citizen Journalists, because THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO QUALIFICATIONS OR STANDARDS FOR PUNDITS.


Not a single fucking one. Go check if you want.


All you have to do is be hired by some Network, who puts the title PUNDIT under your yammering head on the TV screen.


Basically, you just declare yourself a Pundit and go from there.


If you effectively speak enough lies and half-truths and spin corporate bullshit (and have some connections) you get to be on Big Time TV.


I intend to be The People’s Pundit and won’t just speak truth to Power, I’m gonna speak it to EVERYONE.


Some of you folks who actually know me in the “real” world (such as it is anymore) will have either been in my life during or perhaps directly witnessed/participated in some of the stories I will recount.


Don’t freak out and think that I’m ever going to try and make you look bad or try and make myself the hero of every story.


I’ve been a selfish boorish asshole my entire life and am PAINFULLY aware of that fact- and I’ll be raking myself over the coals harder than anyone.



You’ll see that soon enough.


But if I miss a crucial fact of a story, or forget to put it in an important detail, or if you have something *constructive* to add to or say about the story I tell- I’m relying on you to tell me.


However, I won’t debate the particulars of the actual events themselves. They happened. Deal with it. I have.

I’ll NEVER use real names (or any names at all if I can help it) and I’ll die before I reveal the names of the Innocent (Dragnet time). That’s a blood oath, my friends.

As for the rest of you: Good Pundits (kind of a theoretical concept these days) get popular because lots of people enjoy their insights and share their columns with others.

So please, MAKE ME FAMOUS. I’ll take it from there.

If you do, a World Of Shit will fall upon me. But I am ready for it.

It won’t have been the first time.

Tags: , , , , , ,

 

Thu 23 Apr 2020

Helpful Term Of The Day

Posted by Michael under Helpful Hints
No Comments

MOOT POINT:
“An issue regarded as potentially debatable, but no longer practically applicable. Although the idea may still be worth debating and exploring academically, and such discussion may be useful for addressing similar issues in the future, the idea has been rendered irrelevant for the present issue.”
_____________________________________________

A guy bursts into your home screaming insults and obscenities and starts stabbing your family members with a big knife.

AT THIS MOMENT:

Would you spend time wondering whether he just found the knife on the ground or if he bought it at a store?

Would you stop and ponder whether he’s trying to kill your family because he’s really evil, or if he’s mentally ill, or maybe even being paid by someone?

How much time would you spend thinking about how weird his clothes looked, or if he sounded funny as he screamed obscenities? Would you stand and laugh at him? Try to understand what he was really saying?

FUCK NO!!! You’d do whatever you could to save your family and wouldn’t stop until he was subdued or dead.

The cops can figure out later whether he got the knife at Home Depot or Lowes or if somebody put him up to it.

Court Psychiatrists can worry about why he did it.

And you wouldn’t waste time critiquing his wardrobe or deciphering his mad ravings.

THEREFORE

Don’t waste time right now wondering/debating if COVID-19 occurred naturally or if it was made in a lab.

It doesn’t matter anymore whether Trump is REALLY an asset of Russia, or a mobster, or crazy/stupid/demented/immoral/misunderstood. We’re way past that point.

Stop trying to decipher his crazy bullshit. Total waste of time.

And who cares how fat and funny he looks in his shitty suits, or his ridiculous orange make up and fucked up hair? We can laugh about that when we’re all safe again.

Those are all MOOT POINTS.

RIGHT NOW WE JUST HAVE TO STOP HIM AND DO WHAT WE CAN TO SAVE OUR COUNTRY.

Focus on that. We can talk it out to infinity once this is over.

Tags:

 

Thu 23 Apr 2020

Realityland Chronicles: Dispatch #2

Posted by Michael under REALITYLAND DISPATCHES, Uncategorized
No Comments

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING

As I continue to advocate for the reality that we shall need to to remain at home for at least another two or three months, a thought occurred to me.

Some of you may wonder (especially those who have known me for a long time) if I am doing this just because I like hanging out at home and want an excuse not to go back to work.

While I’m the first to admit that my default setting is introvert hermit and that I’ve strategically avoided conventional employment throughout my life, let me make one thing absolutely clear:

When this lockdown hit I was preparing to kick my life into high gear.

The Open Stage that Stann Champion and I had been doing for over 6 years was finally getting some recognition and hit the groove that he and I had been striving for since the beginning.

I was working full time in an office, at a fairly complicated sociological research job that I enjoyed a great deal. I was busting ass and crushing it every day, working much harder than I needed to in order to get my research/scholarly chops back, with an eye to entering Grad School, perhaps even Law School.

My harmonica playing was hitting yet another level, and I was going to spend 2020 getting out and showing the music scene what the last 3 years of hard woodshedding had done for me. And finally take the next step toward fronting my own band.

I’d finally found a Theater Company composed of talented musicians and singers who might have an interest (and more importantly the training and skills) to help me actualize a Gilbert & Sullivan-esque Musical that I’ve been kicking around for several years.

And most importantly, I’d finally gotten the PTSD-related depression/anxiety problems that had been hampering me for 20 years under control, and was remembering what it was like to actually feel good about life and myself.

SO DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT I’M STAYING AT HOME BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.

I just have accepted the reality that this extreme personal sacrifice is what I need to do— for myself, for the people I love, and (drum roll) for the good of society.

People used to gladly make sacrifices for the good of society all the time, but the practice has fallen out of favor in the last few decades.

And that’s pretty much the central reason we are in this mess.

So SUCK IT UP, Pilgrims.

Pretend you’re Sonny Rollins on the Williamsburg Bridge. A chrysalis waiting to emerge as a beautiful butterfly. A rocket waiting to be launched.

Eat right, keep active, learn and grow. Work toward becoming your best self.

Because when it’s safe for us to emerge, we’ll have a whole society to rebuild- in one way or another.

Tags: , , , , , ,

 

« Previous Page — Next Page »